How To Fail (like you need help on that anyway...)
1. Gage Austill was our first president
2. The Earth is a triangle
3. There are 67 planets in the solar systm
5. The process in which plants get energy is called their plethera
6. What happened on May 1, 1903? my first date
7. Socks are smelly because book
8. Fred Bob the second was born: July 12, 2004
9. Fred Bob II's favorite food was: relish and tomato soup with chocolate syrup
10. An estimate of what your grade will be on this: 7
11. You taste food with your: toe
12. Gravity causes objects to travel in what direction? west
13. Name one insect: centaur
14. The most common ritual the Aztecs performed was the: secret handshake
15. The thing that you use to type on the computer is called the lightbulb
1. Who was the first man on the moon? Chingy and the crew of the Chevy 4 x 4
2. Which American man said give me liberty or give me shelves? Pierce Brosnan when he was exicuted by Dave Nevarro
3. Which American man said 4 score and seven years ago? Justin Timberlake
4.Who was the first teacher in the United Kindgom of France? Britney Spears
5. Where did the Blink 182 supposidly land? The Rock, New York
6. Which famous writer invented the telephone? Jake Gyllenhaal
7. Which female created the first flag? Gwen Stefani
A Detective Story (kind of... in a way.. sorta... whatever...)
This is it! Superstar, one of the most creative, talented singers of all time (according to the public. I was never polled on that question. Personally, I think that Superstar isn't worth-- ah, nevermind.) was murdered. I am detective Ellen Engle. I am here to solve a most baffling crime (really? Ya think?). Who murdered Superstar on the night of July the 26th? (Um, dunno, El Diablo maybe? Tee hee.)
I am walking along a dark corridor of the famed Empire State Building, (Didn't know that the Empire State Building was that dark.) holding only a flashlight so I can see where I am going (well, let's hope you can see where you're going, 'cause if you don't then you'll run into a wall and get a concussion and won't be able to solve the crime and then we'll all have to go to your funeral and that's just a waste of time, now isn't it?)
After several hours of walking I spot a suspicious looking character (oh,was that YOU I ran into that one dark night at the Empire State Building?). As I come closer to see better I see it is only a cat. (Oh. Maybe not. That's real suspicious. Yeah.) I jumped. Uncle! Now I'm continuing on my way (good. Get a move on, chick). When I get to the second floor, I find some valuable clues: an axe, beach ball (yes, beach balls are real valuable... if you're going to-- ah, forget it), and some boxers (ew!!!). I have finally found what I need to solve the case (what? Boxers can solve murders? Okay, I don't like briefs no more, I'm a go get me some boxers...).
I head back to my detective team, the famed Clever Clockheads (yeah, being a clockhead generally gets you really famous, that's a definite yes), and show them what I had found. Dawnisha said, "Jinkies! you're amazing!" (Oh, yes, jinkies are amazing, I should know. Me and Jinkies hang out alot.)
"Yeah, Ellen, you are one in a million!" Gregory replied. I smiled at him (Sorry, Ellen and Gregory don't really--- hey, I don't even know a Gregory!).
Then we turned serious (Ya think? Jeez). "Okay you guys, we have the clues now. (What? Ya do? The boxers, ya mean?) We know that Sir Wys, our top suspect, wears boxers like these, (what, ya looking? When did you see his--- ooh.) and that he is very violent, so he'd have no problem using an axe (actually, I know Sir Wys, and he's a v very sensitive man, and would never use an axe for anything-- who were we talking about again?). So we know who it is now, right? (Easy to forget, ain't it?) All we need to do now is set a trap to catch the notorious Sir Wys," I said. (Duh. Oh, he's notorious? Wow. That's shocking. Er, what's notorious mean?)
The trap was now set up. The murderer is lured into the yard (ooh, so you can--- er.), he slips on some water, and lands in a swimming pool with a splash (nah, really, I didn't think pools splashed!!!)!
"WE GOT HIM!" The Clever Clockheads and I yell together.