Chapter Five
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Chapter Five

The 1500 War

1500 A.D

This war was often called the Eagle War because an eagle was Ellievilles spy communication device. Being a common bird during that time, it that area, it could not be easily detected even though it usually had a piece of paper tied around its foot.

This war was between Ellieville and Pitchtussa. It is in many books, including one of Depteh Farmers ancestors as well as namesake, who kept a diary like the previous Depteh. Unlike the aforesaid Depteh, this one was captured by the Pitchtussans and was gassed on July 8, 1521, two weeks before Ellieville beat them good.

What caused all of this fuss was the fact that Pitchtussa thought that Ellieville rightfully belonged to them, since a man of Pitchtussans nationality had discovered it (Tellaw). If you think about this for a minute, you can kind of tell that this was a messed up way of looking at it.

Anyway, Ellieville knew that it would and could not ever belong to Pitchtussa. So Ellieville fought with fury and strength. You can understand Pitchtussas envy, but still, they had no right whatsoever to Ellievilles land or development in any way whatsoever.

Some people call this the Ghost of the 1178 Rampage because of the almost frightful resemblance. In the 1178 Rampage, Ellieville won the war by its huge, though secret, army waiting in Axeville. Here, however, Ellieville won by its huge, though secret, army waiting in Castleville, the new capital city.

There really isnt much else to say here. Farmers diary cannot be found, though I havent really taken any big efforts to find it I imagine it would be a rather depressing story, as he kept it until the day he died. I do imagine that it is out there somewhere, maybe in a museum somewhere or something.

It was right after the war, however, that King Hector decided to begin to tax the people. Here is part of a tax form from the time.

Tax Form, 1523 Part 1, form #10-26A

Family

Part 1, form #10-26A

Name _________________________________________________ age___ address______________________________________

available phone # (_____)___________ second available phone # (___)__________

Work phone # (___)_______ work phone-spouse (___)______

Have you taken a driving test? Yes---- no---- wt. sc. ____ Have you taken a retest? Yes---- no---- plan to? Yes----- no-----

Are you married? Yes------ no------ if so, to whom? ________________________________ age___ has __________________________ taken a driving test? Yes----- no----- wt. sc. ___ retest? Yes----- no----- plan to? Yes------ no------

Who are/were your parents? _________________________________ and _______________________________________.

_________________________________ is ___ years old. __________________________ is ___ years old.

Has _____________________________ taken a driving test? Yes----- no----- retest? Yes------ no------ plan to? ------

Has _____________________________ taken a driving test? Yes----- no----- retest? Yes----- no------ plan to?

My spouses parents are: ______________________________ and ______________________________________________.

__________________________ is ___years old. ____________________________ is ___ years old.

Has __________________________ taken a driving test? Yes----- no----- retest? Yes----- no----- plan to? Yes ----- no------

Has __________________________ taken a driving test? Yes-----no----- retest? Yes----- no----- plan to? ------

Part II, form #10-27B

Are you an alcoholic? Yes----- no------

Are you obese? Yes----- no------

Are you on a diet? Yes----- no-----

Do you have an eating disorder? Yes----- no-----

Have you had an eating disorder? Yes----- no------

Part III, form #10-28C

Have you had three or less jobs this year? If so, what?

a._______________________________________________

b._______________________________________________

c.__________________________________________________________________________________________

Have you had three or more jobs this year? If so, what?

a.____________________________________________

b._________________________________________

c.__________________________________________

d._______________________________________

(use more paper if needed.)

Part IV, form #10-29D

Each activity that you have done for any sum of domestic is a job and therefore counts as one doubleyoo tou. Money received with no obligation does not, however, as a job, and therefore, henceforth, is not and cannot be counted as a W-2. Letters for wages must correspond with letters for the listed jobs. See next page---------------------

Form #10-29D, cont.

Weekly wages

a. $ _____________________________

b. $ ______________________________

c. $ _____________________________

d. $ _____________________________

(use more paper if needed.)

Monthly wages

a. $ ____________________________

b. $ ____________________________

c. $ _____________________________

d. $ ____________________________

(use more paper if needed.)

Part V, form #10-31E

A dependent is a person living in a house where they are not head. Elderly family members and children are examples of dependents; the father of the house is the head of the family/house.

We do note that not all families work that way and that is acceptable, but please list according to our workings in this form. Thank you.

Head of family ______________________________________

Dependents-----

a._____________________________________

b.______________________________________

c._____________________________________

d.______________________________________

e._____________________________________

f.______________________________________

g._____________________________________

h._____________________________________

j.______________________________________

j._____________________________________

Are you a dependent? Yes----- no-----

Are you a head of the household? Yes------- no------

The "Exclusive Artworks" magazine was run by a rock band, "People Defiance". Their members all had fake names- Dancing Nightmare, Squidfish, Wild Axeman, and Guston Smythesson. Here are some articles from their magazine (pictures not shown) from May 1502:

SPECIAL INTERVIEW: DENISE ALKBERT'S TRUE CONFESSIONS

As told to Delilah McFrancescison

Just recently, I broke up with my boyfriend Jackson. He is very brokenhearted. He thinks I am cruel. The saddest thing in my life is that my friend Frankson died. I liked him as a boyfriend, see, so after he died I broke up with Jackson to honor Frankson's soul. My mom and dad whoop me with a ten foot long, six inch wide leather belt five times every time I do a no-no. My shoes always fall off. See, they're like, way too big, my parents won't let me get new ones-- these are hand-me-downs. Up until very recent times, I was abused by my godfather, who was my babysitter. Eventually I turned him in to the police on my walk home from school one day, and then the cops arrested him to jail forever, but he escaped and I now fear him greatly. Oh yes, very much greatly. My mom and dad call me Peaches, which would be ok, but they do this because of the large amount of hair on my legs. You know how peaches are so hairy they're fuzzy all over.

DAVID TEROSCI AND HIS MANY WOMEN

As you may have heard, David Terosci has many women, as his personal--- what? Oh, this article is inappropriate for this magazine. Sorry. Email me!!

DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRETS THAT COULD KILL

TODAY'S SECRET-TELLER: EVERETT MARSHALL RONALD FREDERICKSON

I do not ever say this to normal people. I only say it to secret people. I ma not who I look like. I am only wearing a disguise. Wanna see under my disguise? Certainly. I will rip off my disguise. Oops, not that one, I think I ripped of both... Don't look there.. There, only that one. See? I an not Everett Marshall Ronald Frederickson. I am Gerald William James. My true hate is Duke Rangier. Why? Because he cannot control himself! Am I on drugs? Yes. What kinds? Mexipifone. Pelonia. A little bit. And meresicon, a little bit of them sometimes. Occasionally. I think that my grandfather is in love with to people. Who does he love? My grandmother, of course, ad well as Nyreesa Dyson, my uncle's girlfriend. This is terrible.

I live a sad life.

DEATH TO THE REBELS

BY DANNIE VANTRUSE

The men were shouting loudly and the women were sore afraid.

"Death to the rebels!" they cried, quite agonizingly. The men were here to save the world. Some of the people were scared to fight the war. Others were filled with too much spirit and fury and therefore killed early. Still others, of course, were ideal fighters. One amazing man with bulging muscles the day by calling for extra ammunition and wiping out the evil army with poisonous gas.

"Yay!!"

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