Chapter Eleven
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Chapter Eleven

The Great Lake War

The Ellievillian government, seeing this incident as extremely humiliating, tries to keep its, uh, motive quiet, but do we care?

No.

Granty Mountains attacked Sherenflidity because all Ellieville had in terms of water was, believe it or not, 3 or 4 rivers and lakes, whereas Sherenflidity, on the other hand, had, well, literally too many to count, and they were a rather small country. So, naturally, we wanted a river or two. Sherenflidity was taken aback. They easily gave Granty Mountains 2 rivers and 5 lakes, so sometimes we wonder why we didnt just ask.

Again, literature developed to an even better extent during this time, so here is a sample of a good, though slightly goofy story of... Well, just read it...

Cast of Characters

Angie Hanuman- Andys lover

Andy Smith- Angies lover

Witch- a witch

Superman- a hero

Tammie Johnson- Andys un-lover

Lee Donavan- Darbys husband

Darby Rockford- Angies best friend

Justin- divorce lawyer

Introduction

Meet the People

Witch: I am the evil witch!

Angie: AH!!! Its the evil witch! Where could Superman be?

Ruth and Susie: I see Superman! He is coming to save us!

Superman: Yes, Superman is coming to save you!

Bugs: Yah, Superman is here, yaa yaa woo hoo.

Angie: How are you, Superman?

Superman: Just fine. And you?

Bugs: Just great: Only one problem.

Superman: What seems to be the problem, Bugs?

Bugs: The evil witch is in town and she is saying that she is going to kill me and my friends.

Superman: Well, I will---

Witch: You will what?

Superman: Well, I was just going to say that I will take care of you.

Witch: Oh, really?

Superman: Yes.

Angie: Would you two quit fussing and fighting? The acting you two are doing is dumb.

Bugs: What is so dumb?

Angie: The acting of Superman and the witch is dumb.

Bugs: Why?

Angie: Because they are fussing and fighting!

Bugs: About what?

Angie: About who is going to win the fight they are about to get into.

Bugs: Boy, is that dumb.

Angie: Yah I know.

On Angies Way to Alabama

(Angie talking to her best friend Darby on her cell phone)

Darby: Well he can kiss my butt.

Angie: What? Who?

Darby: My ex-boyfriend.

Angie: Ooh! I see!

Darby: Oh my God he was so stupid.

Angie: Well, I never did meet him before. I dont know if he was stupid or not.

Darby: Well, trust me, Angie, you dont want to meet him.

Angie: Why?

Darby: Because he is a mean turd!

Angie: Oh, I see.

Darby: You see what?

Angie: Oh, I got another phone call. Hold on---

Darby: Ok.

Angie: Im back. Now where were we?

Darby: No idea. You were on the other line for nearly a whole hour.

Angie: Sorry, Darby!

Darby: Youre forgiven.

Angie: Thanks.

Darby: Youre welcome. So who was it?

Angie: It was my ex-boyfriends girlfriend.

Darby: You mean Tammie?

Angie: Yah.

Darby: You two get along?!

Angie: Not really.

Darby: Then why did you stay on the phone with her for almost an hour?

Angie: She was wondering if I would be coming to her wedding to Andy.

Darby: Well, are you going or not?

Angie: Im not sure. I asked if I could bring someone and she said she didnt care. So will you come with me? I wont go if you dont...

Darby: I dont have anything to wear!

Angie: Dont feel bad. I dont either.

Darby: Well, maybe we can meet up somewhere and get dresses together.

Angie: I dont have enough money.

Darby: I can get you a dress.

Angie: Its up to you.

Darby: Ok. Then I will get you a dress!!!

Angie: Thanks, Darby.

Darby: No problem, Angie!!!

The Wedding

Angie: I am at the shopping mall now.

Darby: Ok... Im still trying to find it.

Angie: Just find Main Street and look for a place called The Shopping Mall.

Darby: Its called The Shopping Mall and its on Main Street?

Angie: Yep. It sure is.

Darby: Ok. I think I see you standing outside of it.

Angie: If you think its me wave.

Darby: (waving) Is it you? Wave if you see me waving.

Angie: (waving) I see you!

Darby: Cool. I need to turn around now to back into a parking spot.

Angie: Ok.

Wedding

John: Please be seated. Now, do you, Mr. Andy Smith, take Ms. Tammie Johnson as your lawful wedded wife until death or do you part?

Andy: I do.

John: Now, do you, Ms. Tammie Johnson, take Andy Smith as your lawful wedded husband until death or do you part?

Tammie: I do.

John: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. I present to you, Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Andy Smith!

2 hours later

Angie: How could he do this to me?

Darby: Calm down, Angie. I have got a plan.

Angie: What?

Darby: You need to start to try to hang around him again, like to try to hold his hand or something while Tammies not around. Ok? It will work, I have done it to her before...

Angie: I think I know what youre getting to.

Darby: Yah... We wait for about 2 weeks or more. Thats when they start fussing and fighting. He will file a divorce against her and come back to you.

Angie: How do you know?

Darby: She has been married so many times I cant count them. So I know how itll turn out.

A Divorce

Andy: Let her take anything she wants except for two things.

Justin: And they are?

Andy: My Mustang and my money.

Justin: Ok. No Mustang or money for Tammie.

Tammie: WHAT? No money or Mustang? God I hate you Andy, you stupid---

Justin: Calm down, Tammie.

Andy: Yeah, Tammie, chill out.

Tammie: Why?

Andy: Because it will go into court and I dont want it to go in there.

Tammie: Does it look like I care if we go to court or not?

Andy: You will when I tell you this.

Tammie: What now, Andy?

Andy: Each of us has to pay $2,000 or more.

Tammie: I dont want to pay $2,000 or more!

Andy: Well, you dont want to go into court then.

Tammie: I dont care.

Andy: It doesnt matter to me.

Justin: Would you two like to stop fussing and fighting?

Tammie and Andy: NO!!!

Justin: We will be going to court.

Andy: I will not pay $2,000 or more.

Tammie: I will pay $4,000 for both of us.

Andy: No, I just wont go in!!!

Tammie: Ok, I am not going in either.

Justin: No court, right?

Tammie and Andy: Yes, no court for us!

Justin: Ok, then lets just talk and have no fussing or fighting.

Tammie: Talk about what?

Justin: Divorce! Duh!

Tammie: Oh, ok.

Justin: So how long have you been married?

Tammie: 3 months.

Andy: More like 4.

Tammie: Yah. More like 4.

Justin: Wow! You two arent fighting!

Andy: Yah, thats weird.

Tammie: Whatever!

Angies Phone Call

(Andy is calling Angie)

Angie: Hello?

Andy: Hello, Angie.

Angie: Now what, Andy?

Andy: I divorced Tammie.

Angie: Why?

Andy: I was tired of her after only 4 months.

Angie: Oh, I am so sorry for you, Andy!

Andy: No problem.

Angie: So whats up?

Andy: Nothing, really, but I want you back!!!

Angie: Are you sure, because I have changed a lot.

Andy: Yes, Im sure... Ive changed a lot too. Cant I tell you that I want you back, Angie?

Angie: Yes, Andy, but I...

Andy: Yes, but you what, Angie?

Angie: Ok, I will. I mean I guess you can come back to me if you really want to.

Andy: Ok. I love you so much, Angie. I dont know why I ever married Tammie.

Angie: What did you guys divorce for?

Andy: She was cheating on me. She was pregnant and it definitely wasnt mine.

Angie: Im so sorry for you, Andy!!!

Andy: Really, its ok, Angie.

2 months later

Andy: Angie, I have a question.

Angie: Yah? Whats that, Andy?

Andy: Will you marry me?

Angie: Of course I will, Andy!!!

Andy: Where are you going to get your dress?

Angie: Oh Andy, I dont know...

Andy: Ok...

3 months later

Henry: Please be seated.

(music begins)

Henry again: Now, do you, Mr. Andy Smith, take Ms. Angela Hanuman as your lawful wedded wife until death or do you part?

Andy: I do.

Henry: Now, do you, Ms. Angela Hanuman, take Mr. Andy Smith as your lawful wedded husband until death or do you part?

Angie: I do.

Henry: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. I present to you, Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Andy Smith!

3 months later

Andy: Honey, Im home!

Angie: Hi, baby, looking good. How are you?

Andy: Just fine. How is the baby inside of you doing?

Angie: Ok.

Andy: Thats good. How are you?

Angie: Just great. Does Tammie work at the same place as you?

Andy: Yeah.

Angie: Do you and Tammie work the same shift?

Andy: No, shes shift 11, and Im shift 5.

Angie: Thats good. When you get on the same shift as her, will you quit? While you look for a job Ill work.

Andy: Sure, Id do that.

(phone rings)

Angie: Ill get it.

Darby: Is this Angie?

Angie: Yes this is Angie.

Darby and Angie: OH MY GOD!!!

Angie: Guess what Darby?

Darby: What?

Angie: Im going to have a baby in 5 months.

Darby: Me too!!! Boy or girl? Mines a girl.

Angie: Girl. Im naming her Samantha. Whatre you naming yours?

Darby: Im naming mine Jamie. I was going to name mine Samantha, but then I though that you would probably name yours Samantha, so I named mine Jamie instead.

Angie: Thats funny, because I was going to name mine Jamie but then I thought that you would want to name yours Jamie so I named mine Samantha instead!

Darby: Can I come over?

Angie: Sure!!!

Darby: You and Andy are still getting along, right?

Angie: Yah.

Darby: Can I bring my husband Lee?

Angie: Yah.

Darby: Ok. Bye, see you in a bit!

Meeting Darbys Husband

(Darby knocks on Angies door)

Angie: Ill get it.

Darby: Angie!!!

Angie: Darby!!!

Andy: Hi, Darbys husband.

Lee: Hi, you must be Andy. My name is Lee.

Andy: Pleased to meet you, Lee.

Lee: Pleased to meet you, Andy.

Andy: Do you like to fish or hunt? Because I do.

Lee: Yes, I like both.

Andy: Do you drink or anything? Because I dont.

Lee: No, dont drink or anything like that.

Andy: Then youre my kind of person!

Lee: Is Angie going to have a baby? She looks like it. Whens it due?

Andy: Its a girl, due in 5 months.

Lee: Thats when Darbys is due! Cool!

Andy: Whats your favorite food?

Lee: Pizza.

Andy: Me too! Whats your favorite color?

Lee: Blue.

Andy: Me too!!! Yay!!! Now were all bestest friends!!

Darby and Angie: Well duh!!!